Sometimes I look at old pictures where I was thin and tan and it makes me think I should be making more of an effort these days. Those are just my private thoughts though. I don't appreciate it when random people take it upon themselves to point out how much better I looked when I used to work out a lot and didn't drink every day. In fact, it makes me downright angry when people do that. I've had enough trouble justifying my existence lately without well-intentioned idiots trying to counsel me into having a healthier lifestyle. Goldie made that mistake when we were at a shoot yesterday. I'm happy to report that I can still EASILY kick her ass even in my perpetually hungover, fattened state. That having been said I will admit that my diminished awareness probably did prevent me from seeing her reach for that bottle of chloroform. Please check inside the Playhouse to see the photographic evidence of my sloth and her contemptible, cheating ways.

Whatever happened to a fair fight?

-- XXOO Tanya

Since a few people have asked....here's the sordid story behind last Tuesday's update:

I had invited Stacy Burke over for a relaxing dip in the pool and a few drinks. Of course my unspoken hope was that her visit would lead to a little something in the romance department. When I finally lured her into my bedroom after four Long Island ice teas in the hot sun I thought she would be good to go. Imagine my shock when she rebuffed my advances and then landed a fist in my stomach!! That little blonde bimbo is feistier than you would ever believe, particularly with what must have been a blood alcohol content of at least 2.0..

-- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Tonight on Christmas Eve I want to send my heartfelt thanks and love to our troops stationed around the world. Words always seem inadequate, but I know that I speak for many when I say that all of you are always in the prayers of Americans at home.

Thank you all for your noble endeavors and sacrifices.

With much love,

Tanya

Merry Christymas Eve! Merry Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas Eve!

-- XXOO Tanya

Hello,

The past 2 days have been pretty rough. I'll tell you about it on the Playhouse bulletin board so I don't air all of my dirty laundry on the front page and scare away any unacquainted passersby.

In other happier news there is a brand-new SUPERHEROINE PAGE inside the Playhouse which we are updating weekly. The current video clip features the very noble but gullible Power Girl suffering alarming indignities at the hands of the ultra-busty, nefarious Batlady (!!)

Other installments of the XXX Power Girl saga include evil-doing and sodomy inflicted by the freakishly sadistic, perverted (but very well-endowed) UK Catwoman. Her brand of torment is nearly equalled by that of dark Satana who plots her own defilement of the fairhaired Power Girl.

If Power Girl ever had the self-restraint and emotional maturity to ignore the hot bodies, big boobs, and physical charms of her enemies the world would be a more peaceful place.

Maybe she should strap on her Supersuit a little tighter to prevent herself from falling prey to the endless array of bodacious, cunning villainesses trolling through her neighborhood...

-- XXOO Tanya

A few hours ago I learned that my friend Jim Holliday has passed away. Jim was a well-known director for VCA Pictures and had made his career in adult videos since the early seventies. I have many significant memories of being on Jim's sets which were referred to by many as "Jimmyland." Jim was a friend who would chat for hours on the phone with me, usually late at night. Topics ranged from sports, betting, porn, music, the vagaries of life, and often back to sports and betting. Having played football at the University of Ohio Jim still liked to get a little "action" in on sports, particularly football. Before Jim I had not even know what a "point spread" was.

Jim loved the desert and in recent years most of his shoots had taken place, at least in part, in an isolated set out in the Mojave Desert. I was a part of each one of those shoots and I shared his appreciation of the desert and the desert winds. By coincidence, or maybe not, I am booked for a shoot at that very same isolated set in the Mojave Desert this weekend.

Last week on the Playhouse bulletin board I discussed my plans to retire from shooting for anything other than my own website. No sooner than I had made my decision to do so than I was asked to be a part of a really interesting project out in the Mojave. I chose to do what Jim had always counselled me to do: work selectively and pick only the best opportunities.

This weekend I will be in the blustery, desolate Mojave shooting what I suspect will be one of the more memorable videos of my career, and undoubtedly feeling Jim's spirit out there amidst the howling winds, gravelly sand, and spindly cacti.

May Jim rest in peace. The experiences of Jimmyland will dance in my mind forever.

-- XXOO Tanya

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Why don't I get along with people anymore? Lately I've been on a real anger rampage. It would seem disingenuous for me to pretend that it's all the other people who have problems and none of it is my fault. But that is how it seems to me. Really. Maybe I was just way too nice for way too long and all the resentment started to bubble up within me recently. Still, even the pent-up aggression of a lifetime will not compel me to risk the liability of hitting somebody first. I really wanted to punch Coral in the nose when she was behaving like an imbecile at a fake wrestling shoot we were at. She was being a little too vigorous in her following of the script with the predetermined outcome and I very much desired to pound it into her head that we were only acting and not really wrestling. Instead of pounding it into her head I just spit in her face. That got her going and she landed the first blow! When all was said and done only one of us could continue the shoot. The shocked cameraman just continued snapping photos of the last woman standing. Please check inside my Playhouse for photo evidence of the incident.

-- XXOO Tanya

BIG BOOBS and BRASH TALK inside www.jackoffland.com !!!

Who says two busty blondes can't be best friends? Jon, the chef at
the club I dance at, said that. I told him to go make a sandwich.
Carolyn Monroe and I had been best friends for the past 2 weeks and
nothing was ever going to change that. To prove our point she and I
continued to parade around in coordinating outfits all month long
even when we took our snack break. Smug with satisfaction she and I
would also order matching lunches from Jon: leafy green salads with
no dressing and lemon wedges on the side. That went on until
last week when Jon eyed my midsection, told me I was a porker, and
informed me that my diet wasn't working. Carolyn should have been
ready to kill him for that, but instead she started laughing! I
couldn't give Jon the satisfaction of seeing us fight right in front
of him so I grabbed her by one of her giant tits and dragged her into
the storage room out in back of the club.....

Please check out the violence-packed photos inside
www.jackoffland.com to see just who came out on top in our heated
battle.

-- XXOO Tanya

November has been a month of action here. Please check inside my Playhouse to find evidence of crushing violence directed at a young, naive wanna-be cheerleader.....(it's always those pesky cheerleaders):

British soccer is one of my all-consuming passions, nevermind that it's not called soccer over there. Everton is the team I live and breathe for. The regal blue of the Everton jersey is the color of glory. It is the hue of dignity. The shade of honor. Imagine my horror and disgust at discovering my nemesis Summer decked out in a CHEERLEADER'S UNIFORM of Everton colors!!! Was she CRAZY?! She really thought she was going to accompany me to the pub at 3AM to watch Everton on the big screen while they were playing across the Atlantic. Of course I was already wearing my official Everton kit and I felt it was my call of duty to squelch her tawdry hopes..

-- XXOO Tanya

Happy Thanksgiving!!

As always, my thoughts and prayers are with our brave troops fighting in the Middle East. God Bless all of you.

-- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

I had lots of fun today at the Glamourcon Convention in Los Angeles and will bethere again tomorrow at the booth of www.xoticempire.com .Please stop by if you can!

-- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

This weekend I will be at the Glamourcon convention in Los Angeles on both Saturday and Sunday. I hope to see some of you there. Information for the event is at http://glamourcon.com/ !

-- XXOO Tanya

BEAVERS MAKE BIG-BUCKS DAM


GREENSBURG, La. - These eager beavers had a whole new slant on money laundering.
A bag of bills stolen from a casino was snapped up by beavers who wove thousands of dollars in soggy currency into the sticks and brush of their dam on a creek in eastern Louisiana.
“They hadn’t torn the bills up. They were still whole,” said Maj. Michael Martin of the East Feliciana Parish sheriff’s office.
The money was part of $70,000 to $75,000 taken last week from the Lucky Dollar Casino in Greensburg.
St. Helena Parish deputies searched for the money for days until a lawyer, hoping to make a deal with prosecutors for a client, called and said the money had been discarded in the creek, Police Chief Ronald Harrell said.
Officers searched the creek during the weekend, finding one money bag right away and spotting a second downstream against the beaver dam.
The third bag of cash couldn’t be found, Martin said, so deputies started breaking down the beaver dam to drain the pond it was holding. That was when they saw the dam’s expensive decoration. They eventually found the missing bag, which the beavers hadn’t completely emptied.
“The casino people were elated” to get the money back, even if some of it was wet, Harrell said.
Altogether, deputies found about $40,000, and they expect to find the rest in a safety deposit box at a bank in Mississippi, authorities said.

-- XXOO Tanya

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Inside THE BONDAGE ROOM:

Joey had an evil glint in his eye long before we began the ride up that mountain in Malibu. Fortunately it was a warm day, but I really had not appreciated being herded out of my house in nothing but my bikini bottoms and sandals. He had thrown a leather jacket at me and told me to put it on as he started up his bike. I knew better than to argue and had an inkling that I was in for a long afternoon. It took over 2 hours to ride to a crumbling house in a desolate location, but when we arrived I could not help but admire the panoramic view of the Pacific Ocean and all the beach cities at its shores. My sightseeing was cut short by the appearance of numerous other leather-clad bikers who must have been inside the house. Joey informed me that I was going to put on a "show." I thought he was just making fun of me, but I nervously began posing on the bike for one of the guys who pulled out a camera. I tried to joke around and asked him if these were for ransom photos. He grinned a nasty grin and asked: "Why? Do you really think someone is going to notice that you are missing?" Within minutes I found myself tied to that bike and my feeble protestations were cut off by a large red ballgag that was shoved roughly into my mouth. Terror gripped my heart. What were they going to do to me???

-- XXOO Tanya

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ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!

Many of you Playhouse members have had your accounts terminated in the past few weeks because iBill, my former payment processor here at tanyadanielle.com, is in extreme financial disarray. That is an understatement. There is surprisingly little information available regarding the implosion of iBill, and much of it seems to me to be either lies or just pure speculation.

Since the beginning of October I have watched my little online community here dwindle to less than half of its former size and the population continues to disappear. All Playhouse members who joined my site via iBill have had or will have their access abruptly terminated. All of you did receive or will receive the full 30 days of your last month of membership so no one will get ripped off. The termination of your Playhouse access occurred or will occur on the date you would have been rebilled for the next 30 days.

I want to send a heartfelt thanks to all of you displaced members who have rejoined via Verotel who is now handling all my payment processing. Thank you so much for your support and understanding!!

I am getting ready to send e-mails to all former and remaining iBill clients in this next week. Please know that all of you are very important to me and I sincerely hope to have you back as valued members despite this sad, frustrating, and unfortunate turn of events.

Many kisses,

Tanya