Stacy was laughing at me because I was dressed like a plumber. At least that is what she said. She told me she would be going to the Playboy Mansion without me because I looked too "white trash." I told her we both knew Playboy Playmates from trailer parks in Lancaster who had somehow managed to dress up their resumes so it really didn't matter if I wasn't wearing the garments of the nobility. She retorted that at least everyone at the Mansion looked good and she didn't want to be seen in the company of someone like me who looked like a transient. I told her to go fuck herself and began ripping her designer duds right off her body..

Needless to say it turned into an ugly spectacle. Come see the carnage at my archive site JackOffLand.com now!


- XXOO Tanya

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

12:39 p.m. PST March 28, 2006
LOS ANGELES - NFL officials today invited Councilman Bernard Parks and the general manager of the Memorial Coliseum to give a formal presentation on their plans for a football stadium in Los Angeles. Parks and Patrick Lynch will discuss building a new stadium inside the facade of the historic Coliseum during the next National Football League owners' meeting, set for late April or early May, according to Parks' chief of staff, Bernard Parks Jr.
Parks and Lynch conducted informal talks with NFL officials this week during the owners' meeting in Orlando in hopes of gaining a formal place on the agenda for the group's next gathering.
The USC Trojans play at the Coliseum, but no professional football team has played there since the Raiders returned to Oakland after the 1994 season.
Outgoing NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue earlier this month reiterated his desire to see a pro team in Los Angeles before the end of the decade. Parks said an NFL presence would bring the city millions of dollars. Parks' plan calls for building a $500 million stadium inside the walls of the Coliseum, which hosted the 1932 and 1984 Summer Olympics. Construction would begin next year, with completion slated for 2009. Parks Jr. said it would be up to the NFL to decide which team -- an existing or expansion team -- would come to Los Angeles. But the city first needs to get NFL officials "to sign on the line" for the stadium project, he said.

- XXOO Tanya

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?"

I stared at that message for an hour on the 405 freeway as I slowly made my way into the San Fernando Valley. It was on a bumper sticker affixed to the car in front of me and it was a valid question. Every time I tried to stop thinking about it my mind would find another angle of the issue to examine. Life really could be as much about the hokey-pokey as anything else. I tried fruitlessly to remember all the lyrics of the hokey-pokey song. It was a song, right? What exactly was the hokey-pokey anyways? It was a dance, right? Is it still a dance? Does anyone remember that song besides me? Evidently so, given the fact that someone made a bumper sticker to commemorate it. Or was their hokey-pokey different from my hokey-pokey? I didn't even really remember what my hokey-pokey was. I kinda sorta did, but I wouldn't have wanted to bet money that I was entirely correct.

It was eery how long I was behind the car with the hokey-pokey sticker. For a short while I became nervous that the driver might be going the same place I was. It would have been downright unsettling if the person turned out to be a friend of cameraman Mike Raffone. Fortunately the driver continued going straight as I turned on to Mike's street. I parked and headed into the shoot with my bag full of stripper gear. On this day I'd be shooting a sex scene with sweet, sexy Cherokee.

The scene should have gone well because I love working with Cherokee, but I could not shake off the hokey-pokey conundrum and enjoy the sex. She started getting mad and our scene quickly degenerated into a busty battle for supremacy..

Visit my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com to see who emerged victorious!


- XXOO Tanya

New at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com


Lonnie Waters is incredibly beautiful. Her face is sublime and her body is tan and toned with perfect 34C boobs. She is a work of art. Photographers love her and her fans worship her. To make matters worse, she is also a very sweet person. It really is enough to make you sick. I tried to put a happy face on the situation when I was shooting with her. The grim reality was that I had about zero interest in spending a day with another model who was prettier, blonder, and thinner than I was, particularly when the event was being recorded on film. After about an hour of rehearsing our dialogue for a custom video I decided to beat the shit out of her. The trick was getting her to hit me first so I could play the victim and pretend she started it. Fortunately I'm quite good at that type of emotional subterfuge..

Visit my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com
to see my ugly plan take shape..


- XXOO Tanya

Good morning,

Would you like to join my mailing list and receive my sexy newsletter with photos? It's very simple. Please click the link below, enter your e-mail address anywhere on the form, and then click "Submit." That's all.


www.hotsexystrippers.com/wst_page3.html


Don't worry- I do not share or sell e-mail addresses under any circumstances.


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

Another catfight incident from my past has been archived at www.JackOffLand.com
Here's the behind-the-scenes story:

Jasae and I ordered some Japanese food when we were hanging out at my apartment. My cat Larry was standing next to me when I openned the door for the delivery driver. The driver was delighted by Larry and said: "Oh, wow! You have a Norwegian Forest Cat!" I laughed and told her that I had rescued Larry from a crack house in Lawndale and that I didn't think he was of any special pedigree. The woman was very insistent that he was indeed of Norwegian Forest descent. After she departed I got on the Net and looked up info on Norwegian Forest Cats. To my astonishment I discovered that the woman was probably correct. I love my animals regardless of their lineage, but I was enamored by all the Larry-type cats on the computer. Larry sat on my lap as we gazed at all his distant relatives. Jasae exhibited no interest at all in his feline genealogy and, finally, she commented:

"That dumpster-diving gato could be descended from royalty. It still doesn't change the fact that he spent his formative years inhaling second-hand methamphetamine smoke on 170th Street."

Suffice it to say that her comment was not overlooked by Larry's mother. In fact, I took the term "catfight" to a whole new level when I attacked Jasae with a level of ferocity that she had not seen from me before. I will admit that she is a very tough (albeit misguided) lady..


Don't miss this outrageous catfight gallery at my archive site www.JackOffLand.com !


www.JackOffLand.com/join.html



- XXOO Tanya

Here's an excerpt from a recent update at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com :


Kianna and I have known each other for about 6 years or so. We originally met at a shoot for Busty Beauties magazine in 2000. Editor Morgan Hagen had booked Kianna, me, and Shay Sights to shoot some funny spoofs for the magazine. Shay and Kianna used to dance at the same club in Canada and had known each other for quite some time. I believe that Shay had hooked Kianna up with her first adult modelling jobs. At the time of the Busty Beauties shoot Kianna only did solo-girl and girl-girl work in the adult industry..


See the huge 10-page gallery at www.JackOffLand.com now!

www.JackOffLand.com/join.html


- XXOO Tanya

Carolyn Monroe borrowed my dress for a date. That was fine. She and I often exchange clothes because its hard to find stuff that fits over our 36DD boobs. The only problem was that she really liked her date and let hom blow a big load of cum all over my dress. Evidently she was too impatient to take it off before the magic moment. I really let her have it when she stumbled into our apartment at 3AM..

You can witness the carnage inside my Playhouse right now!

- XXOO Tanya

Here's an excerpt from my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com


"This tiny red dress was purchased at an online store. I had actually been trying to buy a long red dress to wear at a club in London that required the strippers to wear full-length "gowns" when they were working. I've never liked what I call "gown" clubs since the purpose of a strip club is to show some skin and the customers are there to see tits and ass no matter what the management wants to pretend. I'm a biker bar kind of person who likes down-to-earth people and can't stand pretentious attitudes. "Gown" clubs tend toattract the type of folks I don't get along with very well.. "

See the full gallery and read the rest of the story at
www.JackOffLand.com
now!


www.JackOffLand.com/join.html


- XXOO Tanya

I must have been feeling melancholy on that rainy afternoon. People in traffic around me were looking for opportunities to switch lanes, cut each other off, and accelerate with a flourish of gear-shifting noises. I wondered half-heartedly why they felt it was so important to arrive at their destinations 2 minutes earlier than if they had just stayed in one lane and gone with the flow. Everybody was in too much of a needless rush these days. They were frantic to go nowhere. As I pondered my life in the slow lane a bright red BMW 650ci passed me illegally on the shoulder of the road and roared into my lane just inches in front of me. I was forced to slam on the brakes with such force that my body lurched forward and my coffee flew out of the drink holder between the seats. When I regained my composure I could see the red Beemer cutting in and out of lanes ahead of me. All that was visible of the driver were her platinum blonde hair and her well-manicured hand flicking a cigarette out the window.

Half an hour later I arrived at my shoot. I noticed a gleaming red 650 parked in the driveway of the location as I pulled in. All of a sudden the proverbial dime dropped in my head. That was Stacy Burke's vehicle and she was the bitch who cut me off on the freeway! I stormed into the studio and confronted her. At first she looked startled, but then she laughed in my face and said: "I can't believe that was you driving that piece-of-shit Volkswagen!" She was still laughing when I smacked her upside her platinum blonde head. All her mirth was quickly forgotten as this ugly battle quickly escalated to outrageous proportions..


- XXOO Tanya

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Good evening,

Would you like to have my black lace micro-bikini? And the copy of Private Dancer magazine in which I'm wearing it?

Please check out my auctions by clicking on Merchandise in the toolbar above!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Here is an excerpt from my archive site www.JackOffLand.com :

"The only time I worked with (name withheld) was during the making of a superheroine-themed 'Megababe' video. I was Megababe and (name withheld) was the evil villain. These photos were taken the day we shot the video. (Name withheld) really got into her villain role. So into it that the cameraman called me as he was editing the video afterward to ask if I was OK. He said he was not aware during the filming that (name withheld) was so violent. Copies of the finished video are presumably still available at www.CustomVideosPlus.com. For the record, I found (name withheld) to be a nice lady. I think her aggressiveness arose from her zeal to make a good video, rather than from the mere desire to beat me up. That makes a big difference when one has to endure repeated blows to the face and applications of burning candle wax to the body during the course of a shoot.."



Find out the identity of "name withheld" at www.JackOffLand.com now!


- XXOO Tanya

Good morning,

This tribute to the Monday traffic commute comes from my friend Joe. Thanks, Joe!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

My roommate Jewell Marceau was dating a 38-year-old guy who lived with his mother so he could make the $1000 monthly payments on his Mercedes. Does that type of situation happen anywhere else besides L.A.? Are there other cities where people drive around in what amounts to their net worth? Wouldn't it be disturbing to realize that your net worth was a depreciating asset? I don't know the answer to those questions, but I do know that I had to make Jewell get rid of that loser. I absolutely forbade her to bring him over to our place. Not only that, I threw out every picture she had of him, and everything he had ever given her. Jewell accepted all this with very little resistance. It was a bit suspicious how compliant she was being. Of course I had to search her bedroom to see if there was evidence that she might possibly be flouting the rules. Good thing I did because I found a bottle of lube! She denied that she was still seeing the Mercedes-driving shithead, but I was not convinced. It seemed to me that a little dose of physical brutality might very well help her rethink her dating habits.

Check inside my Playhouse to see this nasty catfight erupt!


- XXOO Tanya

Stacy Burke and I often get hired for custom videos together. Recently a gentleman prepaid us for one. We told him to spend as much time as he needed to come up with the perfect script. A few days went by and I decided to take his money to the dog park to double our earnings. Everything was going great until I lost all the money. A blue-haired granny at the table next to me informed me that a novice like myself wasn't ready to "run with the big dogs yet." I felt like smacking the shit out of her. I checked that impulse and went on home to inform Stacy that I'd blown the money. Of course I cleaned the story up a bit and told her that I'd been mugged on my way to the grocery store. She didn't buy it. Not for a second. She also didn't fancy the idea of doing an hourlong custom video for free. Before I knew it, she was throwing a pair of boxing gloves in my face and we were getting ready to duke it out right there in the living room..

You can see the outcome of this battle royale right inside my Playhouse..


- XXOO Tanya

Good morning,

A short while ago I began accepting money order payments for my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com
If you wish to join via money order I have developed special membership rates just for you:

1 month membership - $9.95

3 month membership - $25.00

6 month membership - $50.00

Yearlong membership - $100.00 (Our best deal!)

For further instructions please visit
www.JackOffLand.com/join.html



I look forward to seeing you there :)

- XXOO Tanya

Another day, another fight in my Playhouse:

It's been awhile since Carolyn Monroe and I hung out together. Still, she's been over to my place at least a thousand times and it seemed unnecessary for her to ask why I have silver tinsel decorating my table lamp. Not only did it seem unnecessary, it also appeared that the question might have been intended as a pointed insult. Here I'd been expecting Carolyn to relax and swill a few beers with me, and instead I found myself fielding queries about my furniture. I'm not a decorator. I didn't even put that tinsel there for effect. Somehow it ended up on my lamp after a drunken night of debauchery when I was dancing around naked on my balcony with the shade on my head. Carolyn knew that already. Was she trying to make me feel self-conscious about my excessive drinking? Why would she attempt the impossible? Was I misinterpreting her question? Who cared anyways? I was already one sixpack into my evening and her flippant tone was all the justification I needed to bash her perfect 36DDs into my industrial carpet..

Check inside my Playhouse to see this violent, drunken spectacle!


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

Here's an excerpt and a photo from the recent "Bad Girl" update to my archive site www.JackOffLand.com :

I wore a uniform in highschool and always had the shortest skirt of anyone. It was commented upon by other people. It seems a bit odd that I went out of my way to wear short skirts at a girls' school, but maybe I was just struggling with my identity or needed attention. The highschool I went to, Castilleja School in Palo Alto, California, was not a place that would have been construed by anyone as being sexy or hip. It was highly regarded academically and the attendees, faculty, and alumnae were mostly insufferable in my estimation. I never wanted to be there and could not wait to go experience the real world. It was kind of sad how ill-equipped I was to handle the "real world" when I finally confronted it. My first year at UCLA was a revelation. I began dancing at bachelor parties and strip clubs that first year and..

Come visit me at
www.JackOffLand.com
to see the naked pics and read the rest of the story!

- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Who are those hot babes wearing red in the pic above?

Why, that is my friend Summer Cummings and me! Hehe..I never refer to myself as a "hot babe" unless I'm joking around, but Summer is definitely one sizzling sexpot.

Summer and I want to do a sexy video for you. Right now we have an auction going on that will allow the highest bidder to direct us in a mind-blowing scene! You can access our auction by clicking on Merchandise in the toolbar above.

You don't want to miss this one!

- XXOO Tanya

Here's a snippet from the latest update to my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com :


Francesca Le was a man-stealing bitch who needed to
pay a price. I don't mind admitting that I attacked
her when she was down. Literally. She was down on the
mat doing situps at the gym when I sat right on her
face and cut off her air. It only took about an hour
of relentless face-sitting, boob-smothering, and
choking to make her apologize. After her tearful
apologies she agreed to assist me in luring that slimy
prick Alex to the gym so we could kick the crap out of
him. He was the worthless loser who came between us in
the first place.

In the gallery at
www.JackOffLand.com
you can witness Francesca
and me subjecting Alex to torture worse than anything
he ever could have imagined in his young punk life.
When we were through he didn't just wish that he
hadn't cheated on me, he wished that he had never been
born.


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Did you know that I'm a professional boxer? Yep, appearances can be deceiving. You can check me out in all my topless ferocity at http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/DTWTBABoxing/
This is where Oscar de la Hoya would be boxing if he had boobs :)

My coach, ultimate fighter Frank Trigg (see pic), will be fighting tomorrow night in the Rumble on the Rock 8 World Welterweight Championships in Hawaii. If you'd like to catch the free, live, play-by-play action from the fight you can listen in at
www.MMAlive.com
this evening!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

I'd like to invite you into my Playhouse to see my new boob job! Before last week I was a mere 36DD and now I am a 36EE. You can see how they look in the pic to the right- I could barely fit into my lavender bustier.

Hehehe...I'm just kidding. I don't want to lure anybody into my Playhouse under false pretenses. No new boob job, but my boobs do look especially huge in the new Lavender Bustier gallery if you want to check it out inside :)


- XXOO Tanya

The other week cameraman Mike Raffone called and told me that a gentleman wanted to book me for a custom shoot with Harley Raine. I happily told him the dates I was available and we hung up. Days passed and there was no further word from Mike. Finally I called him and asked when Harley and I would be doing the shoot. He replied that the man booking the shoot had replaced me with Stacy Burke because he thought that I wasn't sexy enough. I digested this information and started getting angry. I could live with the fact that Stacy was going to do the shoot instead of me, but I wanted to put a little pain in her life. It only took a few shots of vodka for me to hatch the perfect plan. Within minutes I was on the phone with Harley, telling her a few facts about Stacy. Actually, they weren't facts at all. Everything I said was pure fiction designed to make Harley's blood boil. I told Harley that Stacy had called her a dumb stripper from the East Coast who should pack up her huge breast implants and move back to Maryland. According to me, Stacy had also said that Harley was also a two-bit pornstar who did not even deserve to stand in front of the same camera as a serious actress such as herself. Hehehe - it worked like a charm! I could barely conceal my delight when I heard that a huge catfight had broken out at Mike Raffone's apartment on the day of the shoot. Check inside my Playhouse to see the photographic evidence of this nasty brouhaha now!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

I have lots of new items up for auction! Included among them is this floral dress which will go to the highest bidder along with a copy of my XXX DVD High Desert Dreamgirls. I wore this sexy dress in a hot scene I did with beautiful, blonde, busty Nina Ferrari out in the California desert. It also appears in numerous galleries I have at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com


You can access my current auctions by clicking on Merchandise in the toolbar above.

Happy bidding!


- XXOO Tanya

I've never worn a feather boa onstage when I was dancing. It seems that feather boas were invented for strippers and I do wear every other type of gaudy, Dolly Parton-esque stripper garment. Despite amassing piles of absurdly high heels, rhinestone-studded bikinis, and mirrored minidresses I had never purchased a feather boa until 2004 when I was shopping for clothes to use in a shoot for my Playhouse here. I've still never performed with it while dancing, but I wore it for this gallery, another gallery, and a video which all appeared in my Playhouse. Maybe I haven't brought it to the club because it takes up more space in my duffel bag than all the other skimpy clothes combined.

Check out the entire "Feather" gallery at my archive site
http://www.JackOffLand.com
now!

- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

There's always a nasty story behind the catfights in my Playhouse. I've got issues and I try to work them out:

If you come to my place you will see a stain in the ceiling of my livingroom. It is a bloodstain that dripped through the floorboards of the apartment above when the former occupant was killed at home. Rumor has it he was with the Russian Mafia. Is there such a thing as a Russian Mafia? "Mafia" has to be one of the most overused words in the English language. Every wanna-be bad guy claims to be a part of some type of "mafia." I have no idea what precipitated the death of my neighbor upstairs nor do I know whether he was really with some clandestine group of criminals or not. In any case, the blood pooling inside my ceiling did prompt me to cover my teal green couch with a slipcover. I certainly would not want any bloodstains on that classic piece of furniture.

Shannan Leigh came over and snottily commented that I must be really broke if I was recycling bedsheets to cover up my shabby home decor. Yep, that's what she said. I was determined to show Miss High-and-Mighty a thing or two after her unwelcome remark. It was not an easy fight. Check inside my Playhouse to see the final outcome of this emotionally-charged debacle..


- XXOO Tanya

You know you are schlocked at the New Year's party when you go to take a swig out of your bottle, can't find your own mouth, and pour champagne down your back instead. And then you end up posting your New Year's greeting on the 2nd day of the new year because you don't remember what you did on the 1st.


Happy New Year!!


- XXOO Tanya

BIG BOOB BOXING BATTLE


Sometimes people secretly hate you. It's unfortunate that they won't come right out and say it. Their subtle put-downs and needless jockeying for what they perceive to be the upper hand gets really irritating. Maybe those folks have a need for you or maybe they have a weird love/hate obsession with you. Either way, I always try and avoid those type of screwed up individuals and it's usually pretty easy to do so. Unfortunately my friend Shannan Leigh inadvertantly brought one of them right back into my orbit recently. I asked Shannan to help me book another model for a shoot we had scheduled. On the appointed day she showed up with this one dumb-ass broad whose name I will not mention. The woman in question has to be the dumbest ass of all the dumb-asses I've ever worked with. She tries to hide her painful insecurity by bragging about her dubious accomplishments and lobbing sly insults at me. Shooting a video with her is no walk in the park. It gets so bad that I feel like her personality is contagious. I told Shannan that there was no way I could do another shoot with this woman. Shannan told me I had no choice. There was no hope of an amicable agreement on this subject so we agreed to don boxing gloves and duke it out in the back room of the studio! The stakes were high because the loser would have to do the shoot with the despicable model. Enter my Playhouse to see just who was the victor in this no-holds-barred, boob-punching bonanza..


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

Who would wear this 1980's-style aerobics outfit to the gym in this day and age? I would, of course. I miss my job at Hooter's and look for any excuse to put on shiny spandex tights.

Check out the full, ultra-shiny gallery in my Playhouse now. (You'll feel like you've gone back in time and are working out on a Nautilus machine at one of those now-defunct 24-hr aerobics studios!)


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

I have numerous auctions of my personal items going on right now. Among them is an exclusive, limited-edition poster (see pic above) shot by photographer Marcus. There are only 5 in existence and there will never be more of them made.

You can access my auctions by clicking on Merchandise in the toolbar above.


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Many have asked to see the man behind the legend. The Chairman of the WTBA has attained a level of prestige among boxing fans that has not been seen since the heyday of Don King himself. (Or is Don King still in his heyday?)

The pic above shows Chairman Andy at the Glamourcon convention in Los Angeles this past November. He is flanked by two of his star fighters, Hollywood and myself. Who else might be lurking in the Chairman's stable? You could his ask loquacious nephew Wes or you can visit http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/DTWTBABoxing to see what or who is next on this International Playboy's agenda!


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

Who is that demented laughing woman?

Oh, that's me. I must have had too much punch at the Christmas Party :)


Come inside and join the fun in the Playhouse!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Here's the story behind last weekend's update to my archive site JackOffLand.com:

There was an occasion in the past when Francesca Le came to my house and criticized my home decorating. I thought that she displayed a ruthless disregard for both my hospitality and my feelings. As a matter of fact that episode occurred this past May and the events of the evening are duly recorded in my JackOffLand update of 10/8/05 with plenty of photographic evidence. Adding injury to insult Francesca proved to be the better woman that day when she kicked my ass. I was humiliated but my spirit was not defeated. I knew that someday I would even the score. I vowed to train harder, be stronger, go to the gym religiously, and take martial arts classes so that she would have no chance against me in our next battle because there WOULD be a next battle. Months passed by and I did little else besides dance in a bar, drink vodka, and go to the occasional photo shoot. Undaunted by my own lack of self-discipline I decided that I would still reclaim my street credibility and challenge Francesca on her own turf. With a bandanna covering most of my face and a cap pulled down low on my brow I broke into her home at 4AM last week..

Please check inside JackOffLand.com to see the outcome of THIS battle!


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

There are lots of my personal items up for auction right now. The bra and shorts I'm wearing in the pic to the right are among them. I wore those in an orgy scene in late director Jim Holliday's Midnight Librarians. As you can see pornstars Belladonna, Calli Cox, Monica Mayhem, and Scarlet Fever were in that scene too. The winning bidder of my shorts and sexy bra receives a signed DVD copy of Midnight Librarians as well.

You can access my auctions by clicking on Merchandise in the toolbar above!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Yesterday I updated my archive site www.JackOffLand.com with yet another superheroine-themed video that originally aired here in my Playhouse. Here's what I wrote about it back then:

Two blondes with big racks are in a dungeon. Yep, it's Catwoman (AKA Taylor Wane) and Power Girl, the latter of whom is still being held against her will and defiled. She plots her escape as the nefarious Catwoman desecrates her bodywith nipple clamps and sodomizes her with a rubber cock. To be sure, Catwoman is a cut above the average dominatrix. It would take more than the typical man-hating bitch to lure Power Girl into her lair and entrap her in this predicament. Catwoman has a plan. We don't know what it is yet, but it appears that the elusive Wonder Boy figures into the scheme. Wonder Boy is Power Girl's nephew. "Forced incest" is not a term that we even want to contemplate, but with Catwoman at the helm during this campaign of terror..

Please check inside www.JackOffLand.com to sate your morbid curiousity and figure out the purpose of this whole plot-driven superheroine drama. You dirty perv. (Hehe!)

-- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

As per usual I updated my archive site
www.JackoffLand.com three times last week. The pic above is from a military-inspired set I shot originally for the Playhouse a few years ago.

I hope you come visit me at www.JackoffLand.com soon!


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

As usual I have numerous auctions of my personal items currently in progress. One of the latest is my sexy red dress which is featured in a gallery at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com

The winning bidder will receive the hot red dress, a Polaroid of me wearing it, and a disc of photos of me posing in it as well.

Just click on Merchandise in the toolbar above to access my auctions!


- XXOO Tanya

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Good morning,

Over the weekend I added 2 new galleries to my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com
Here's the story behind Saturday's hideous catfight between myself and B-movie queen/wrestling legend Jasae:

Of all places, Jasae and I first encountered each other at a bondage shoot. Turns out we both dance, do bondage, and have wrestled for some of the same companies. When the subject of wrestling came up Jasae arched an eyebrow and asked me: "Do you really think you are a wrestler?" She placed heavy emphasis on the word "think" and made it clear that she didn't believe I was one. She pointed out that not every woman who steps into a wrestling ring can necessarily be considered a wrestler. I pointed out that not every woman who adopts a one-word name out of a misguided sense of self-importance is necessarily given the same regard as Cher or Madonna. That did it. Only one of us left the aborted bondage shoot victorious that day..

Visit
www.JackOffLand.com
now to find out who it was!


- XXOO Tanya

Holy Kidnapping!

Power Girl needs you. She's trapped -helpless, breathless, but still fighting- in The Bondage Room right now!


Come witness her torment inside the walls of the Playhouse..


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

Around the time the photo above originally appeared in my Playhouse I was starting to wonder why I didn't get along with people anymore. I'd been on a real anger rampage. It would have seemed disingenuous for me to pretend that it was all the other people who had problems and none of it was my fault. But that is how it seemed to me. Really. Maybe I had just been way too nice for way too long and all the resentment had finally started to bubble up within me. Still, even the pent-up aggression of a lifetime would not compel me to risk the liability of hitting somebody first. The day these photos were taken I really wanted to punch Coral Sands in the nose because she was behaving like an imbecile at a fake wrestling shoot we were at. She was being a little too vigorous in her following of the script (which had a predetermined outcome) and I very much desired to pound it into her head that we were only acting and not really wrestling. Instead of pounding it into her head I just spit in her face. That got her going and she landed the first blow! When all was said and done only one of us could continue the shoot. The shocked cameraman just continued snapping photos of the last woman standing..

Come witness the carnage at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com
now!


- XXOO Tanya

Good morning,

I am excited to announce that I am auctioning off a limited series of 5 original, never-been-seen before posters. They were shot by renowned photographer Marcus and are available only through my auction partner Toyzz.com. Each poster is a high-quality, glossy art print that will never be available again after the limited edition of 5 has been sold. They each measure 34" X 22". You can see a thumbnail image of this brand new military-inspired poster above this text on the left. I have also included a pic of me holding one of the posters to show scale.

To access my auction page click on Merchandise in the toolbar above. If you have any questions about the new poster just click on Ask a Question in the auction listing.

Happy bidding!


- XXOO Tanya

Good afternoon,

I have a bunch of new auctions going on right now. Among the items offered is my official Score magazine T-shirt. I received this T-shirt in 2000 when I went on the ill-fated Score magazine Boob Cruise. The cruise was not ill-fated because the boat sank or anything dramatic like that- it was just ill-fated for me on a personal level. There was a lot of tension on board that vessel. Models Alyssa Alps and Casey James were in positions of some sort of directorial capacity and, not to mix metaphors, but that boat ride was no walk in the park. Perhaps I had myself to blame for much of that. As I reflect upon years past I can't help but notice that I have never had good experiences with organizations that revolve around models with huge breasts. By some standards I myself have huge breasts, but mine wither in comparison to most models in Score magazine. If you pick up an issue you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

Actually, I should have some auctions coming up which feature back issues of Score. My photos are in them and I'm identified as being a "stuck-up, snotty bitch" among other things. My relationshop with Score ended on a bad note. One of the magazine's owners told me my "career was over" after the Boob Cruise.

I don't let those kinds of things bother me so I kept on wearing the free T-shirts they had given me. That might seem kind of strange, but I'll also admit to still wearing some old Los Angeles Raiders T-shirts that I have. Believe me, I'm no fan of Al Davis either.

In any case, one of my official Score T-shirts is on the auction block now. You can see me wearing it in the pic to the left. To access my current auctions just click on Merchandise in the toolbar above.


- XXOO Tanya

Good morning,

This photo is an age progression I had done to show what I will look like at 70. Just kidding. It's actually from the front page of MSN.com today. The photo accompanies an article about how one should handle queries from rude people who ask why you are not married yet. I seem to hear that question a lot lately. It was starting to bug me until one of my roommates pointed out that people were probably just asking me that (repeatedly) because it got a rise out of me. She's probably right- I had become too gratifying a target. In any case, the article from MSN is pretty funny. Here's my favorite line:

"..being single isn't about being a loser."


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

We are now accepting subscription payments by mail at my archive site www.JackOffLand.com The pic of me to the right is from Sunday's update at Jackoffland. To see further information regarding payment by mail please visit

www.JackOffLand.com/join.html


I hope to see you there!


- XXOO Tanya

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Good evening,

I have a number of auctions going on right now. Among them is the outfit I wore in a 5-girl orgy scene with Kylie Wild, Avy Scott, Cassie, and Felix Vicious in the XXX feature Absolutely Adorable. It's not exactly a high-fashion outfit, but this blue denim mens' workshirt has seen a lot of action with a lot of beautiful babes! A signed copy of Absolutely Adorable is yours as well if you win the auction.

You can access my auction page by clicking on Merchandise in the toolbar above.


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

The first installment of the Power Girl vs. Catwoman superheroine saga is now playing at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com! Yep, that's me in my Power Girl incarnation talking on the phone. It appears that I have not yet donned my supersuit or cape ;)

Check out
www.JackOffLand.com
to see the Power Girl series, as well as video of me doing some behind-the-scenes training for my role. Hehe..I've never really trained for anything. It's a good thing my Shakespearean acting talent comes naturally. Just kidding. In any case, I do have a 3-part video in there which features ultimate fighter Frank Trigg teaching me how to box. Superheroines need to be ready for battle.

I hope to see you at www.JackOffLand.com !


- XOXO Tanya

Good evening,

Have you heard about the arrest of racecar driver Kurt Busch for suspicion of DUI? This is the interesting part:

"Busch was not cited for alcohol; a breath test was inconclusive because the device failed."

I hope I never get a DUI, but if I do...I really hope that I will also have a bunch of financial backers and/or rich relatives who are able to facilitate the "malfunctioning" of the breathalyzer. While I'm wishing for stuff I'll also fantasize that the arresting officer will look exactly like Devon Michaels in this picture.

- XOXO Tanya

Good evening,

My thoughts tonight are of course with the former and current members of our military. We have our great country thanks to your dedication and your sacrifices. God Bless all of you.

I was informed that yesterday was the official birthday of the Marines so I decided to re-post the following story. It was sent to me by my friend Joe who is a veteran himself. I put it up here over a year ago, but it is worth revisiting :)



YOU GOTTA LOVE THE MARINES

Marines Answer to Gun Control

Marine Corp's General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion ofNational Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what thingsare you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you'renot one....... are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended.

You gotta love the Marines!!


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Today I shot some cool stuff for The Bondage Room inside my Playhouse. Here is the lovely Anastasia Pierce beating the crap out of sexy Jewell Marceau and myself!

This hot gallery will be in the Playhouse soon..


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Have I ever mentioned that cheerleaders bug me? Most of them are women and instead of using their abilities to play sports they opt to stand on the sidelines cheering on a bunch of men. I'd understand if they got paid for it, but they don't. Imagine my frustration at having one especially nubile young lady interrupt my soccer practice at the local community college where I coach intramural sports. Summer Tyme was bouncing around in her little skirt and waving her pom-pons in the air while I was putting my team through some serious drills. When she picked up my megaphone and started calling out cheers I almost throttled her right there on the field. Fortunately my good sense caught up with me before I did it in front of any witnesses. I wisely opted to obtain her personal information from the college's computer database and then hid every night behind a tree in her backyard for three weeks until I found the perfect moment and confronted her in her own bedroom. Unbelievably the little twat was still wearing her cheerleader uniform at three o'clock in the morning. Even more surprisingly she turned out to be very feisty and resourceful in the heat of battle. That brings me right back to my original premise that most of these pom-pon wavers are squandering their real talents when they waste their time practicing song and dance routines. Please check inside my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com
to see Summer and me hashing out our philosophical differences..


- XXOO Tanya
www.JackOffLand.com

Good afternoon,

I'd like to recreate this story as a porn video:

Panthers Cheerleaders Reportedly Arrested


Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday morning at a Tampa nightclub after an incident that reportedly began with the two of them having sex.

The Charlotte Observer reported that according to a police report, Kristen Owen, 22 and Angela Keathley, 26, were arrested after an incident at Banana Joe's in the city's Channelside district. One cheerleader was charged with battery, the other with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
According to the Observer, the police report claims the two cheerleaders were having sex with each other in a stall at the bar when other patrons got angry they were taking so long in the bathroom. Owen and another person started arguing and Owen hit that person in the face, according to the report.
However, according to a report by WCNC-TV, police have since questioned the identity of the woman identified as Owen, saying another woman may have tried to dupe them by using Owen's drivers license. Police said they have opened an investigation into the identity issue.
WCNC-TV reported that Owen's mother claimed Owen was at a wedding South Carolina at the time of the arrest.
Keathley, whose identity has not been disputed, was escorted out of the bar, and the police report said she was so drunk she could barely stand. Police also described her as rude and belligerent toward them.
The Observer also reported that other Panthers cheerleaders bailed the two out of the Orient Road Jail late Sunday morning.
According to the Observer report, Keathley and the woman claiming to be Owen made the trip to Tampa on their own as they are only on the sidelines for home games.
Team officials at Sunday afternoon's game said they were aware of the report, but declined further comment.

_______

(By the way, that's pornstar Alana Evans in the cute cheerleader pic. I have lots of sexy photos of her in my Playhouse. Maybe she can star in my upcoming directorial debut which will be entitled "Hot-tempered & Horny: Lesbian Cheerleaders on a Rampage!")


- XXOO Tanya

Good evening,

Another nasty catfighting episode unfolded at my archive site
www.JackOffLand.com
this past week:


My friend Cherokee came over last night on the pretext that she wanted to help me out. She had seen last Tuesday's photos of Kim Chambers and myself battling on my site here. Cherokee told me she wanted to show me a few moves that I could use the next time I got into a fight. I pointed out that a 4'11 doll such as herself really needn't worry about such things as fighting, particularly since someone of her size was only equipped to take on a kindergartener or an age-shrunken Alzheimer's patient, and that I really didn't need to learn any new moves anyways. She pointed out that an aging fatso like me better learn to bust a few new moves, particularly since I looked like I was stuck in a time warp with my bleached hair and overly large breast implants, and that I was a tacky slob who evidently hadn't changed my dress since I fought Kim Chambers. As soon as her words registered I grabbed two handfuls of her hair and prepared to subject her to the worst torment of her life. Suffice it to say that Cherokee was much stronger and more vengeful than previously anticipated, and that neither of us wears underwear..


- XXOO Tanya

Get Out!

Staying inside the house breeds a sort of insanity always. Every house is in this sense a hospital. A night and a forenoon is as much confinement to those wards as I can stand - and then I must go outdoors.

Henry David Thoreau



- XXOO Tanya