At some point in 2004 I had driven for an hour behind a car with a bumper sticker bearing the text: "What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?" The sticker tormented me. It still does. The hokey-pokey has become a recurrent theme in my life. In June, 2006 my friend Tyson and I went to Hooter's Restaurant in West Covina, CA where, inexplicably, our waitress had tried to coerce us into performing the hokey-pokey dance for the other patrons in the establishment. We declined to do so and later in the day had ended up driving to our friend Raul's office where we mentioned the whole episode. He listened to our story without comment and then asked:

"You mean the hokey-pokey dance?"

"Yeah. Do you believe that?" I said with an incredulous smile. "I don't know how to do the hokey-pokey, but nevermind that. Why would she even ask us?"

Raul shrugged without appropriate puzzlement and said:

"Hayden Frye used to make the Iowa football team dance the hokey-pokey before each game."

"He was the coach of the team?" Tyson asked.

Raul nodded his head and went on to haphazardly elaborate on the subject as he punched information into his computer regarding whatever he was doing. Evidently the University of Iowa used to have a Division 1 football team who were perennial non-contenders until Hayden Frye became the head coach. He turned the program around and achieved legendary status for his coaching prowess while also raising some eyebrows with the peculiar pyschological tactics he used to rally his team. According to Raul the whole team danced the hokey-pokey in their locker room before each game.

So that was that.Our conversation turned and I was left to ponder the hokey-pokey conundrum yet again. I tried to shake it off but I couldn't. Five months later I asked Raul to repeat what details he knew about Hayden Frye and the hokey-pokey. Raul had no patience for the subject and told me to look it up on the Internet. I did so.

As it turned out Hayden Fry spells his name without an "e" at the end of it. Additionally, he only had the Iowa football team perform the hokey pokey after a huge victory. They did not perform the dance/song before each game as Raul had mistakenly lead Tyson and me to believe. Beyond all that Fry had presided at the helm of Iowa football while he was cultivating such future coaching talents as:

Barry Alvarez - now head coach of the Wisconsin football team

Bob Stoops - now head coach of the University of Oklahoma football team

Mike Stoops- now head coach of the University of Arizona football team

Mark Stoops- now defensive coordinator of the University of Arizona football team

Curt Ferentz - now the head coach of the Iowa football team

Bob Schneider - now head coach of the Kansas State football team

I have not yet figured out the significance of the hokey-pokey. It may torment me for the rest of my life. Still, I know a thing or two about weird coaches. Coach Alexis Taylor is using some unorthodox techniques on me as she puts me through drills on the black and gold University of Iowa wrestling mats above. What would legendary Iowa wrestling coach Dan Gable think of this flagrant desecration of university property?


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