New catfight in the Playhouse today:

Devil in Sheer Pantyhose

Summer Cummings had recommended me for a job and I did not show up for it. Or call to say I wasn't coming. For a few weeks I wondered just how mad she was. Finally I screwed up my courage and rang her up on the phone since the worst she could do was hang up on me. Instead, to my amazement, she was really nice when we spoke. What a relief! She understood that I was just a complete idiot and mentioned that she had never really expected much out of me anyways. After all, I'd been a moron for as long as she'd known me. She reassured me that she had accepted my limitations years ago. In fact, she went on, she had once read research on bovine behavior indicating that cattle were so stupid that they never deviated from a very limited range of actions. Summer went on to tell me that she realized that I, like the cattle, had an organic deficiency that prevented me from altering my habits and becoming a successful model and a productive citizen. It was merely my destiny to live the existence of a lower life form.

Yeah, Summer was going overboard wth the insults and calling me a dumb cow, but I was just so happy to be her friend again. She even accepted my invitation to come over for a drink. On the appointed day we were hanging out at my place laughing and talking just like old times when out of nowhere she grabbed a handful of my hair!! I almost jumped out of my sheer-to-the-waist pantyhose! Turned out that all that bonhomie on the phone had been just a ruse to get herself within grappling distance of me..

-- XXOO Tanya

P.S. Check out a mini- photo preview of our petty but violent dispute at www.ultimateindignity.com !